Unbroken Hearts Page 5

  “Gotta hate it when that happens,” Brett simpered bashfully at the room of people while he fiddled with his frets and plucked a little more. “Did I tell you I’m really out of practice at sitting up here? Might be better off slapping a few coins in the jukebox than waiting for me to get my ass in gear. Sorry, Mama.”

  Dammit, JT had never been prouder of Brett, never been prouder of anyone in his whole life. Despite the edge in his movements and slight heaviness of his breath, the man on the stage was a born entertainer. And as much as JT had already suspected so from old videos and ancient reviews, he couldn’t have been more certain than he was right then. And all the bullshit Brett spewed about leaving Brett Blakk behind was just that—bullshit.

  Because Brett Blakk wasn’t the man who sat shyly, thoughtfully, easing into his position on the stage in front of a bunch of strangers and a few loved ones. That was Brett Taylor. And Brett Taylor was one hell of a showman all in his own right.

  Once he started playing, Brett’s husky voice carrying from one corner of the dingy bar to the other, his fingers stroking expertly over the strings of his guitar, you could have heard a pin drop. JT risked a glance away, looking at Millie, who had an almost pained look of joy written all over her face while she white-knuckled Ray’s hand on the tabletop.

  And Ray, he was smiling like someone had promised he’d never have to muck out another barn for the rest of his life. JT wasn’t certain he’d ever seen the old guy that happy for any length of time before either. It was perfect.

  As for JT, he couldn’t help the rush of shame for how he’d been feeling and acting, the juvenile lack of trust in the man he loved. There could never have been a better surprise than seeing Brett doing what he was born to do, not to mention calling JT out as his Darlin’ in front of the world he now called home. That particular thing in itself had taken more guts than JT could even imagine possessing. It was an endearment that had bothered him in the beginning because he’d read Brett’s letters to Walt, but now it was the highest term of affection Brett could use and it still tingled JT’s heart.

  After a whole lot of sweet words and toe-tapping exuberance, Brett paused. He said he had one last song in him, but he needed to explain a little first. The audience in the bar stopped their clapping and hooting and fell into an eerie stillness.

  Brett licked his lips and cleared his throat before continuing. JT’s Adam’s apple felt as if it was being strangled by his heart. “I’ve had a ton of happiness in my life, and a whole world of hurt too. But I’m a lucky old bastard because despite all the mistakes and bullshit decisions I’ve made, somehow I’ve come out on top.” His face lit up in a flash of redness to his cheeks and a shit-eating grin. “Now don’t y’all be thinking like that ’cause my damn mama’s sitting right here in this room.”

  JT almost choked on his beer, the better part of a long swig being sucked up his nose and the rest going down the wrong pipe. The crowd laughed more than he would have expected for a room full of cowboys and farm wives, and well, yeah, rednecks. Brett’s face was the most beautiful shade of pink under the spotlight. And JT felt his own glow with happiness. Brett was giving his emotions a workout, and all JT wanted to do was get him home, strip him naked, and express his undying love. Was that wrong?

  “Now where was I? Lucky bastard, right? Yeah, I am. But I’m not gonna tell you why since I wrote a song about it. I will tell you one thing I’ve learned in my many, many years of life. Just because you think you’ll never find happiness again, that don’t mean someone else won’t come along and blow that assumption to the goddamn moon. Because that’s exactly what I found in my own backyard, in my kitchen actually—more happiness than I’ve ever deserved. Well, you can just… I’ll just sing it for you.”

  I know our love story’s just started

  Eyes open wide to take it all in

  But I blink to make sure I’m awake

  Because, Darlin’, you make my head spin

  Sometimes I wonder how I lived without you

  With just my friend the bottle and guilty regrets left to stew

  I was madder than a hatter with my head not on straight

  I mistook grief for guilt, my heart filled with self-hate

  I had ghosts rattlin’ around this empty old house

  With nowhere to go while my hopes headed south

  But if I’d known then what I surely know now

  I’d have declared you as mine, no doubts, nohow

  Because your love has changed me

  From broken to new

  From lonely and hopeless

  To live each day filled with you

  I swear I won’t hurt you

  And I vow to stay true

  To cherish what you’ve given me

  And to always, always love you

  I’m nothing but empty when you’re not at my side

  I’m aching and breathless and I don’t care to hide

  What I’m feeling

  What I’m wanting

  What my heart truly does need

  Just to tell you I love you

  And lay my soul bare to bleed

  My vow is to always—

  Hold you close

  Hold you tight

  To keep you safe and warm each and every night

  Take your hand when you smile

  Dry your tears when you cry

  Share all our moments, good and bad,

  By and by

  By and by

  I’m so in love with you, kid,

  My Darlin’, my heart and my soul

  Please be with me forever—together we’ll grow old

  You’re my reason for breathing

  For getting out of bed every day

  For staying clean and focused

  For all the good things I have to say

  Because your love has changed me

  From broken to new

  From lonely and hopeless

  To live each day filled with you

  I swear I won’t hurt you

  And I vow to stay true

  To cherish what you’ve given me

  And to always love you

  There was a time my heart ached for that forever kind of love

  But now the whole world can fall down around me

  —a deafening crash and a thud

  Because you’re by my side—no ghosts in our way,

  Just a surfer kid and a cowboy,

  Just me and you—here to stay.

  Millie grasped JT’s hand even before Brett finished the song, her long nails digging little moon-shaped divots into his skin. He appreciated the pain because it helped to hold back the overwhelming rush of emotions threatening to burst from his chest. He was short of breath, his mind a mess of flashbulbs, much like he’d been the first night Brett had kissed him.

  The logical part of his brain said it was mild shock that spun him round, or maybe the beginning of a panic attack he needed to control. But JT preferred to think it was his final submission to the crushing power of Brett Taylor’s love, the point where all insecurity and doubt were replaced by nothing but fierce heat and possessive acceptance.

  In simple terms, Brett was wholly his, and JT was entirely Brett’s.

  Millie jerked her hand from JT’s when Brett made his way through the crowd. People grouped around him, but he shrugged them off with a kind smile and shy dip of his head, zooming in with unyielding intent on his mama, who’d jumped up from her chair. JT’s gaze met Brett’s, the unmistakable presence of anxiety clouding the blue, and he fell in love all over again.

  Brett’s jaw was solid granite even as he hugged and kissed Millie, an almost unobservable twitch in his cool demeanor and tremble in his bottom lip. Both were obvious to JT, and he felt Brett’s unspoken need for approval, for a hint he’d done all right. His overwhelming anxiety floated like a dusty cloud around him.

  Ray shook Brett’s hand next, pulling him into one of those backslapping, one-armed hugs they were both so fond of. There were whi
spers, but Brett kept his attention even when Ray gave him an unceremonious push.

  “Happy Valentine’s Day, cowboy.” JT mumbled the words, taking the last step that would sink him heart-first into Brett’s arms. “Thank you.”

  Brett was heated goodness against the bare skin of JT’s forearms where he’d pushed his sleeves to his elbows.

  He was sweaty, breathing hard, trembling ever so slightly when he pressed his mouth to JT’s ear and hummed, “Anything for you, Darlin’.”

  “I can’t wait to get you home.”

  “You and me both. We’ll put in a little time here. Then we can head out, all right?”

  “Definitely.”

  JT untangled himself from the strong embrace, and after a firm peck to Brett’s lips, he collapsed back in his chair. Brett followed suit, a sweet lopsided grin plastered on his reddened lips. There was no more talk between them, nothing but inconsequential things that included Millie and Ray in the conversation. The odd person stopped by the table to congratulate Brett and meet JT—that was just weird—now and again, but Brett held them at bay like a champ.

  He appeared slightly embarrassed with all the attention, and he sought JT’s hand as soon as the first well-wisher wandered by. After a very long hour of chitchat, the four of them got up to leave. There were hugs all around, sweet sentiments and gentle teasing from both sides, but then Brett was finally JT’s again.

  The storm had subsided to a dull roar when Brett pulled the truck onto the road. Rain drizzled and the wind whipped against the windshield, but it was far better than when JT had arrived with Ray. Or maybe he was just immune to the elements considering he couldn’t seem to stop beaming or shaking his head with leftover disbelief.

  He turned sideways, his seat belt tight around his hips and chest.

  It was something he did often, just looking at Brett, basking in the changes—big and small—that Brett had fought so hard for over the past few months. JT could still picture the Brett he’d first met, the one with grief deeply etched on his face even on his better days, the same grief and passion turned inside out that stooped him over like a man beyond his years and had him pushing everything, everyone, away except the bottle.

  But that man disappeared in a wisp of memories when the Brett of today stepped into the light, the one grinning smugly—proudly, beautifully—to himself. Brett wasn’t perfect by any means, would never be perfect, and he didn’t ever need to be. The flaming red G of grief or guilt wasn’t carved into his forehead, the blue of his eyes illuminated since the clouds of indecision and pain had passed. His smile was genuine, devoid of the forced straight line of indifference that had concealed the grimace of agony and regret.

  Instead, JT saw a lazy-edged red heart swollen inside a pride-restored chest and beating only for him. There was nothing more beautiful, more hopeful and perfect, than falling asleep with Brett every night, waking up to him every morning, and being loved by him every day. JT didn’t know how he’d lost sight of all that was really important, how he’d let himself fall into a pit of insecurity because of childhood fears and judgments.

  “You’re quiet. Tired, sweetheart?”

  JT finally drew his gaze away, concentrating on the twining of his own fingers with Brett’s where they rested on his thigh. “No. Just thinking.”

  In actuality, his insides shook with a thousand emotions. He wanted to pout about having the wool pulled over his eyes in such a gigantic way, but he just didn’t have it in him. Brett interrupted his proposed sulk.

  “You know that thinking stuff doesn’t always turn out for the best, right? Whatcha got going on, good or bad?”

  “Mostly good.” JT blew out a big breath. “Dammit, babe. You gave me chills when you were on stage.”

  Brett’s shy grin was contagious. “Had a bad case of them myself.”

  “How long were you planning this?”

  As he swung the truck to the left to avoid that same pothole, Brett sat up straighter in his seat. The drizzle of rain had changed back to a deluge. “Not sure I should answer that question in case it incriminates me further.”

  JT bit the inside of his cheek to stop his chuckle. “A week? A month?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Bastard. I thought Millie was going to pee herself she was so excited.”

  That got Brett’s attention. He shook his head with a scowl. “You’re preaching to the choir. That woman nearly wore out my cell phone this week with all her calls.”

  “She’s proud.”

  “I guess.” Brett snuck a peek away from the road, one eye squinted at JT. “How about you?”

  “I’m not going to answer that in case I incriminate myself.”

  Brett snorted and slapped the steering wheel. He stopped a few seconds later when JT pulled their hands apart and smacked him hard on the leg.

  “What’s that for?”

  “You totally set me up, didn’t you?”

  “Not entirely on purpose.” The sly curl of Brett’s mouth said otherwise.

  “You knew I was anticipating the day, so you stirred the pot.”

  Brett shook his head at that, pursing his lips before he spoke. “Nope, you did that all on your own. I had no idea you had such high hopes for today, kid, and that’s the honest truth. Hell, you’ve never said anything to me about Valentine’s Day at all.”

  “I think you had some idea.”

  Brett cocked his head to the side, then righted it again. “You know some fellas call this the most romantic day of the year, but I always wondered if it was that way for you or if you had bad stuff associated with it or whatever. You confused me even more when you were so pissy this morning.”

  “I wasn’t pissy.”

  Brett didn’t blink an eye. “Mmm-hmm.”

  “You’re not always right, you know.”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  “Bastard. Just wait until I get you home.”

  With a low chuckle, Brett lifted JT’s hand and pressed it to his lips. “Mmm-hmm.”

  Chapter 4

  BRETT WAS out of the truck and tugging JT out the passenger’s side almost before the vehicle came to a full stop. He let himself be dragged into Brett’s waiting arms, laughing and crushing their mouths together. The kiss was desperate and sloppy, a mess of saliva and groping hands. Rain pelted them, but it was a good five minutes before they released each other.

  “It’ll be warmer in the house, cowboy.”

  “Drier too. But I want to show you something first.”

  JT groaned when Brett pulled him in the opposite direction from the house. He was already drenched and cold, the water soaking through his jean jacket and giving him goose bumps in a not-so-nice way. And he was edging toward having his dick push through the uncomfortable dampening of his jeans, something he had no intention of rectifying unless his other two complaints were taken care of.

  Or he’d just let Brett fuck him in the rain. His pants felt even tighter at the thought. He was that desperate and in need of his man’s affections.

  When they stopped in front of Walt’s barn, JT’s heart skipped a beat. His arousal waned immediately.

  “Brett. It’s coming down harder. Can’t we do… whatever it is we’re doing, tomorrow?” JT shoved his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans since there was plenty of room now. He shook his head in hopes he could stop his curls from dripping into his eyes.

  “Patience, Darlin’. I’m showing you my Valentine’s present.”

  “I thought the song was my—what does the barn have to do with this?” JT tried not to groan, but it slipped out.

  “The song was yours, no one else’s. But this one’s for me.”

  JT’s patience had run thin. “What are you talking about?”

  It had been a long distressing day after all, but Brett’s smile was soft as he pushed dark strands of wet hair from his eyes. JT couldn’t quite place the look, and that made him nervous. He still carried the exhilaration from Brett’s surprise, but he was squeamish abo
ut being in the one place not on his list of desirable locations to make love to Brett.

  “I’m giving myself a gift.”

  “How about I just give you the lame present I’ve got in the house instead. You can gift yourself tomorrow when it’s not dark and storming, okay?”

  “I’m tearing it down.”

  Screw his heart flip-flopping. JT’s jumped right into his throat. “What?”

  “It doesn’t serve any real purpose, and it’s not like it’s been used much over the years.” Brett gazed determinedly into JT’s eyes, just a hint of sadness dampening the blue. “It’s the past, and I don’t need it anymore.”

  “Did Ray say something to you?”

  Brett chuckled low in his throat. JT wondered how he didn’t drown under the pelting rain when he opened his mouth to laugh harder. “I supposed Ray’s a whole lot smarter than he looks sometimes.”

  JT stepped closer, crowding Brett against the wall of the barn. “You don’t have to do this for me.” He gripped Brett’s hand, the rain of no consequence anymore. Their fingers fit together like pieces of the same puzzle, and Brett tugged JT closer to kiss the back of his hand again. JT melted like ice cream on a hot day every time he did that.

  Damn, look at me getting all Southern.

  “I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for me.” Brett slid his other hand to fist in the back of JT’s coat, leaning in so their foreheads touched. He spoke with emotion that shone brightly in his eyes. “I think I needed it around before, probably the same way I needed the bottle.”

  “Brett—”

  “Let me finish. Please?”

  JT nodded against him, smoothed errant strands of dark hair away from his eyes.

  “I used to see Walt in there, in good ways and bad. Never knew which memory would catch me first when I got out here. Truth is, that’s why I usually stowed my letters away when I was too drunk to really see anything.”

  JT nudged his head in the barn’s direction. “Is he still in here?”

  “Nope. Walt’s memory is in here.” Brett pressed their held hands to his chest. “But that old barn is an eyesore, and it feels like death not life or soft remembrances. I don’t have to talk to Ray to know it bothers you too.”